COWES (Isle of Wight)

My word those Preventive Officers were important people

'Bill Honeyman was the permanent APO at Cowes during the 9 months I was stationed there in 1968. The permanent PO was Arthur Clarke who was well known and well respected in the town as the Customs Officer. Such respect and standing which would not be seen today.

The prestigious Cowes Week is well known of course but the invite everybody sought was to the Ball at the Royal Yacht Squadron which marked the end of Cowes Week. The Squadron remains as the most select club in the UK if not the world. Money could not buy your way into that select club. In accordance with tradition the Squadron sent 3 tickets for its Ball to the Waterguard office, for the PO and the two APO's. Such was the standing and such was my inexperience in that summer of 1968, that I was told by the PO to man the office on the late shift that particular night and that my ticket would be used by the PO's wife. This was the way it had been previously and this was the way it was to be now.' - Chris Braham

 

FAWLEY

Candy From A Baby

'I was leaning over the rail in boiler suit and official cap, just taking a 'breather' from rummaging the Norwegian tanker MV Astrid Elizabeth, when a voice said 'Do you know anyone who would like to buy cigarettes?'. 'How many have you got?' I replied. '1200' . 'Where are they?' I asked. The seller wouldn’t say, explaining that the Customs might find out.

Just then two of my colleagues came walking along the dock. 'They are Customs aren't they? said my new friend, 'Yes - and I'm a Customs officer too' I replied.

We recovered 600 cigarettes from the after peak and another 600 from amongst some rope. The owner of the cigarettes, who had only been at sea for three months, was found guilty and fined £10 by Christchurch magistrates.' - John Pope

 

ON DETACHED DUTY

The Temporary Erection!

'During the Post Napoleonic War period smuggling from France was rife with Tobacco, Spirits, Silks and Lace being the main commodities - a bit like now in fact.

The Collector petitioned the Board for the services of a Preventive Officer to cover an isolated post in the Collection which he believe was being used for large scale smuggling. The Commissioners agreed to supply an Officer on a temporary basis with a Report to be submitted after 6 months to gauge the strength of the information. An Officer was dispatched on 19th Century terms of Detached Duty. These terms did not get much better until the latter days of the 20th Century, and with his wife he was housed in a temporary building - rather on the lines of a Portacabin.

The information proved to be reliable and the Officer made frequent Reports without receiving any feedback - it was ever thus - and for a year he remained on these temporary terms. After a year he made one final petition to get his position regularised. The Petition finishing with the words 'I have now had a temporary erection for more than a year and my wife is getting fed up with it.' - RW Gregory

PORTSMOUTH

SOUTHAMPTON

A Snooze In The Drydock . . . . .

'There was a story going the rounds in February1958, at the time I joined the Waterguard in Southampton, that Ron 'Neddy' Plaskett APO was renowned for his ability to sleep deeply. One night he fell asleep on the old ex-service fold-up stretcher which Messrs Imms, Blake and Pepper * had thoughtfully provided in the APOs' retiring room at 29 Berth.  Obviously he had had a strenuous night rummaging, patrolling and the like.

At 0530, the morning baggage crews arrived ready for the early morning arrivals from France and the Channel Islands.  Neddy did not awaken. He remained in his comatose state while several APOs gently lifted the poles at the four corners of the stretcher, carried him outside the building and ever so carefully took him down to the bottom of the empty drydock nearby. There they left him, fast asleep - much to the amusement of the dockers arriving for work.' - Bob Gurman

* NB. Messrs Imms, Blake and Pepper were the members of The Board whose names always appeared at the end of the OWOs - Omnibus Weekly Orders. (Editor)

The Wednesday League

'As a first day APO in 1954, in Southampton, I met Tom Hill, Appointer and George. George's only question was 'Do you play football?' and I was ushered into the magic world of the Wednesday league with legends like Jack Hopkins, Roy Saltmarsh, Den Heighway, Sammy Powell, Bob Fletcher. We had a faithful supporter, a retired Watcher who was there every week with his dog.' - Ron Ellis

SOUTHAMPTON WATER

A Porthole Opened Above Our Heads . . . . .

'Once, as a member of a rummage crew, I was standing on the deck of the 'Calshot' tearing hard alongside the 'Queen Mary' waiting to board her, when a porthole opened above our heads and a shower of empty boxes was thrown out to land round our feet. Each box had once contained six pairs of nylon stockings and I think we collected twenty four of them. In those days nylons were what people smuggled most after cigarettes and obviously the thrower thought he or she was rid of possible incriminating evidence into the sea, not realizing that we were underneath.

By counting portholes along and down we established which cabin the boxes had come from and the purser was able to name the occupants. Later, at the baggage bench, we met them face to face and after giving them every chance to declare the nylons - of course - we searched their baggage and found them, and more, concealed in amongst their clothing, with expensive consequences for the passengers.' - Des Wyatt