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Anecdotes & Memories from the Dover Division |
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The Anecdotes & Memories from the other Waterguard Divisions listed below have their own sub-pages to facilitate faster browsing and for ease of maintenance. They can be viewed in the normal way by selecting the appropriate 'button.' |
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Dover Division - Page contents: |
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Port of Dover - Section contents: |
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'I have fond memories of APO train duties. There were two shifts - an 0600-1400 for inbound trains and a 1700-0100 shift for outbound trains. The '5 to 1 trains' duty had several perks - you got to travel up to Victoria in style on the Golden Arrow - normally with a friendly steward, in the Pullman car with a complimentary cream tea! - a leisurely evening in London, followed by an excellent dinner on the night train. There was a table set aside for the Customs Officer, and occasionally if the service was crowded, the steward would ask if it was alright for him to seat one of the passengers at the table.
One evening, in the late 1960's I think, Tariq Ali, now a respected author and media 'talking head', was declared persona non grata by the government, and escorted onto the night ferry. The service was full, and the steward (I can even recall his name - Sandy Bracca) asked if he could seat Ali at the 'Customs' table. I was happy to agree and enjoyed a very interesting and stimulating evening journey with him. Happy days - it was better than working for a living!' - Neil Bailey
'Gerry Vaughan was one of Dover's "seizure kings". When I arrived at Dover, wet behind the ears, Gerry gave classes in "spot the smuggler" to new arrivals with the punch line that if he was on duty we APO's should bring our jobs to him to "make". When he got a "job" Gerry would phone Mrs Vaughan with the details and he would come home to fully faced up C457s, C458s and seizure labels - and no doubt in many cases the "verbatims" .
In 1967 when I was there, it was alleged that he had just purchased a Ford Mark 1 Cortina with the previous years seizure reward - cash. It had personalised registration plates, the number being 458 ' - David Bowie
'Tim Longley, Malcolm Preece and I were on a Dover mobile with Dave Carruthers in charge, when Dave introduced us to an AO who was to be attached to us as part of his introduction to preventive work. The AO seemed a most unlikely character. To me he looked ancient and probably more comfortable in a suit than in rummage overalls.
Dave insisted that we show this character around a ship, but we were reluctant to do so, especially in the light of the fact that the only vessel which arrived that day was a small French collier called "The Cote de Gras". There was near rebellion. "No-one ever finds anything on a French ship" - Jack Corless used to describe French crews as "spineless"!
So we went through the motions of showing the AO various spots on the ship. We showed him the engine room and told him about the old chestnut of concealing goods in the bases of machinery. We explained that none of us had ever found anything there, but, nevertheless they'll tell you at the Training Centre about tapping the metalwork supporting the machinery below the level of the engine room plates to look for inconsistencies indicating a concealment. Like this . . . . chink . . . Chink . . . . THUNK!
We couldn't believe it! Sure enough, a little prodding and poking revealed that lightening holes had been covered over and painted, and, when prized away, revealed the glorious sight of lots of "Senior Service" cartons. This was followed by several more "training centre" style concealment's and we ended up seizing the ship! What we hadn't known was that the ship spent the majority of its time on the French coast and that this was a rare foreign trip.
The AO must have thought it was always that easy, and didn't seem to understand our surprise and delight, but we definitely had him to thank for motivating our boss to decide that we should rummage that ship!' - Cliff Davies
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'Laurie was an ex Navy man and served on the Russian convoys during WWII. His catch phrase was “**ck off” which he used regularly, especially in conversations with CPOs.
One night watch in the late ‘sixties Laurie was having a nightcap on the 0030 departure to Ostend before retiring to his bed until the next arrival at 05.15. He was dragged (reluctantly) into conversation with some far-back RAF types in the bar on the Ostender who were singing the praises of the RAF during the war. Laurie listened patiently for a few minutes while downing his nightcap and then interjected: “I served in the Russian convoys and was sunk three times, once by the Germans and twice by you **ckers”.
This proved to be something of a conversation-stopper and Laurie turned on his heels and left to avoid being “carried away” to Ostend'. - Tim Longley
'At Dover in 1969 I was the boarding Preventive Officer for a Townsend Ferry. All the ships bars had to be closed and shuttered whilst the ferry was in port, and drinks could not be served to oncoming passengers until the ferry had left port.
Having completed the normal boarding procedures it was the custom to pass time with the barman inside the main lounge bar whilst the passengers were boarding.
On this particular day the door to the bar was ajar and we were inside having a beer and a chinwag. Suddenly a face appeared in the doorway and we all recognised Henry Cooper, 'Our 'Enry' British and European heavyweight boxing champion. In cockney he chirped "Any chance of a beer mate?". Quick as a flash the barman replied "I'd like to see anyone stop you."
'Enry got his beer on the house!' - Doug Oliver
The Permanent Private Secretary to 'Sir Important-Person'
'A fellow Scot - I think Crawford was his Christian name - was on exit duties at Western Dock Baggage Hall when a pin stripe suited, bowler hatted, umbrella carrier walked down from the rail platform and made to enter the hall. Crawford stopped him and advised him that he could not enter during a passenger movement.
The 'Suit' explained that he was the PPS to 'Sir Important-Person' and he had been instructed to meet M & Mme Le Blanc from France and escort them to his country house. Crawford advised him that if he waited where he was then the Le Blanc's would, in due course, pass this point. The 'Suit' continued to argue explaining that the Le Blanc's did not speak any English, Crawford's response that many of our staff spoke excellent French did little to calm him. Eventually the 'Suit' spotted the Le Blanc's and rushed in to the Hall. A contretemps ensued between Crawford and 'Suit' culminating in Crawford telling the PPS to F**K OFF!
After a few moments silence the PPS demanded to see the senior officer. Crawford's heart hit his boots when he realised that the evening CPO was Fred Smallwood. Fred was a bluff, pipe smoking, Gannex and flat cap wearing Yorkshireman and, when on evenings caught up with his paperwork, was not keen on being disturbed. Crawford could see his short time in the Waterguard coming to an abrupt end.
Fred duly arrived and the PPS related what had happened which was confirmed by a very remorseful Crawford. "So Sir", said Fred to the PPS, "You are telling me that an officer of Coostams told thee to fook off ". "Yes That's right " replied the indignant PPS. "Well Lad . . . . why didn't thee?". I didn't find too many managers like him in VAT!' - David Bowie
'My first APO post was Dover and as newbies we got the green rub of the shifts. I was given a roster which involved days nights and evenings all in a hurry and all mixed up. I did a day shift and then reappeared for a night shift the same evening and then reappeared again for the evening watch. My PO wondered why I was almost asleep by 2000hrs! He did have the grace to let me go and then explained how it all worked . . . . . . . after the event. There were only another 40 years to go.' - Colin Poland
'Picture if you will Dover's Admiralty Pier Baggage Hall in the mid to late 1960's. It was the hub of Dover passenger activities back then. Two shifts covered passenger arrivals - Noon to 20.00 and 13.00 to 21.00. After the summer rush and DD staff had gone there were three daily arrivals - the lunchtime SS Invicta, the SS Invicta Golden Arrow Service, which arrived at 17.30, followed forty minutes later by the evening Ostender.
The SS Invicta was the only British vessel to arrive on the pier and the bar took ages to close. At various lulls in the baggage hall certain POs nipped on board for a waxer and a chat with their friends.
The same pattern of arrivals continued into summer with many more passengers than were carried in winter, with one or two extra Ostenders arriving in short order and even an extra from Calais or Boulogne. Always, the SS Invicta arrived first. In those days there was no red or green system and The Board still required what was known as 'Personal Confrontation', and these ships often carried 1500 - 1600 passengers each. Fortunately the fixed preventive staff were assisted by a large intake of DD staff from places as far away as Aberdeen.
The Baggage Hall complement swelled from around 20 to up to 50 officers. Given the numbers of passengers who had to be spoken to it was still a hectic task. The only way to get them through non-stop was for a visiting CPO to wave his arm and despatch them uncleared. Such were the powers of the exalted!
However any stretched detached duty PO looking around him around 18.00, as the Invicta passengers cleared, would have found difficulty in locating a member of the fixed staff. And another 1600 on the Ostender loomed. Only fixed staff worked the earlier of the two shifts. Maybe there was to be a mass rummage of the SS Invicta?
Sometime soon a whispered message to fixed staff "Noon to eights away" and yet another Dover Glide began!' - Mike Millen
Arthur Winstanley and the Feet
'I worked occasionally with Arthur at Birkenhead, but was also on Detached Duty at Dover with him in 1966 - Les Davies was also there! Once on a day shift in the foot passenger hall at the Eastern Docks, Arthur brought with him a pair of joke rubber feet, all gnarled and calloused, which he put on over his normal footwear.
Once he had selected a 'victim', he would call him or her over to the bench and at the same time as showing the passenger the Notice no. 2A, would place one of his feet onto the bench. The reactions of the passengers were a joy to behold. As was normal practice then Arthur would produce the same notice and say "have you read this notice?"
You always got the odd cocky passenger, who said that he had. So Arthur would immediately hide the notice behind his back and say "Okay, what does it say?" Or he would produce the notice and say "Have you read this notice?", but would show the passenger the reverse of the notice on which he had written ' Next year go to Blackpool.'
He really was fun to work with. He may have been a nightmare for higher management but was a true source of enjoyment for his colleagues. By the way, when he applied for the Shetland Isles, he never told his wife. She refused to go with him and stayed at their home in Wallasey.' - Ken Joy
'I joined the Waterguard in Dover in 1965. As a pre-WTC 'hairy' I was given some practical training in the Western Docks Baggage Hall. I was not allowed to earn 'fifths' so always finished by 20:00. One afternoon, soon after joining, I was under the care of a senior APO one Gerry Mayers. He carefully chose an honest looking passenger and after the "have you read this notice" stuff told me to examine the contents of the man's suitcase. There, taped inside the lid were two large peacock feathers ! I made my first seizure; and Gerry nearly had his! The 'Nelson's Touch' was out and a PO made the seizure as long as I did the paperwork! He also said not to speak to him in future!
The balmy days at Dover passed and I was due to leave for pastures new. One of my last watches (as we called them then) was in the same Baggage Hall. There was a 'New CPO' on the prowl. I decided to stop an innocent looking man only to find his suitcase contained twenty-four peacock feathers. My last seizure in Dover. And so my career advanced - even multiplied.' - Mike Millen
Yachtsmen are so Easily Impressed . . . . .
'One afternoon, at about 1300hrs, we received a phone call in the office at Shoreham from a lady in Littlehampton who, upon looking from a window had seen a yacht anchored off with a dinghy 'bringing things ashore'. It was a fairly quiet day and 'Johnny' Walker PO decided that this was for us. I was driver that day in the navy blue Cortina and Johnny told me to get there asap. This was before the days of chequered hatbands on police officers headgear, so the sight of four capped and uniformed officers in a blue car created exactly the right (wrong) impression.
The journey from Shoreham was uneventful and quite enjoyable, for me, and we burst into the advised area, through the bushes and onto the beach, coming to a halt in a shower of sand where we did indeed surprise a boatload of people with their goodies. Alas and alack it was not the fantastic job we had hoped for. The yacht was based in Littlehampton harbour and the skipper had found to his consternation, once at sea, that the crew had left all the foodstuffs ashore. Rather than return to base, as he lived on the sea front and it was a flat calm day, he elected to do the other thing . . . . . . .
He was however most impressed with our rapid and spectacular arrival, and enjoined the assembled crew to partake of some lunch, which lasted some time. Which is when I suddenly wished I wasn't the driver.' - Colin Poland
Fred Sharp CPO (DD)
'I was an APO on DD at Lydd Ferryfield Airport in the summer of 1962. Lydd was one of the busiest airports in the country at this time in terms of numbers of flights - it was only 20 minutes to Le Touquet and 40 minutes to Ostend.
It was the job of a 7/3 APO to release sealed bar boxes from the Lock Up for shipment on that day’s aircraft and at the height of the season one needed an extra pair of hands and the APO’s had taken upon themselves to provide this support by attending on the 8/4 watch half an hour early. On one such busy day, I was that 8/4 APO. On entering the office at 0730, I was accosted by the DD CPO Fred Sharp who ordered me to get over to the Lock Up right away and to report to his office when the morning rush was over.
As instructed, I duly reported to his office at 0755 to receive an almighty bollocking for turning up late for duty, not signing on, causing delays to flight schedules etc etc. On explaining that I was not yet officially on duty but had attended early to support the 7/3 APO, I got another bollocking for attending unofficially!
Needless to say, from that day on, this goodwill – which cost the Department 'nowt' - was withdrawn and the ensuing and predictable chaos brought howls of protest from Silver City Airways with the result that an 8/4 watch was changed to 7/3 and the ‘lost’ hour from 1500 to 1600 was, when required, covered by overtime.
Fred didn’t do apologies and even a few years later when we caught up with each other on our respective fixed appointments to Hull Waterguard, he strenuously denied that the incident ever took place. Fred was a real tartar of a CPO but apparently mellowed in his final years of service and I was but one of a large company of former Waterguard colleagues to pay their last respects at his funeral.' - Denis Atkinson
. . . . . welcome to Prestwick
'Jimmy Reid was promoted to PO from Aberdeen and his first unfixed posting was at Manston Kent. Jimmy was on call and got the news that there was to be an evening arrival, a US Military Hercules. The thought of three hours overtime would normally warm the cockles of any Scotsman's heart but it was the evening of the Thanet Caledonian Society ball in Ramsgate and the tickets were paid for! Jim decided to attend the ball and hopefully if the plane was on time he could nip up to the airport, protect the revenue and quickly return for the festivities
As Jim approached the airfield the Hercules was on finals. By the time he got into the office it was on the hardstand. Jim was in full highland regalia so had no time to change. So he put on his uniform jacket grabbed his hat and case and ran up the rear of the plane. The captain was amazed to see this "apparition" coming aboard and there was a fleeting look of panic on his face when our Jim greets him with "evening skipper ..... welcome to Prestwick!" - David Bowie
Fancy a dram Jim?
By the way - Don't think you can print the next bit and in any case being a phonetic joke may not work in print. 'Jim was one of the many Waterguard chaps who was pensioned out on health grounds. He had an eye problem . . . . . . people kept asking him "fancy a dram Jim ?" He kept saying "aye" - David Bowie
The Grounding of the SS Germania
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'On 26 April 1955, whilst I was at Newhaven, I went with a PO, another APO and a Coast Preventive Man, to board the 3000 ton SS Germania which was lying off Beachy Head with her back broken. She had collided with the SS Maro four miles off the coast and suffered some damage, but her Master radioed that he did not require assistance. The vessel was taken close in-shore and tried to drop anchor, but half-a-mile east of Beachy Head Lighthouse, the vessel ran aground and broke her back. We were taken to board by a local boat and were accompanied by a photographer from a local paper - I have dug out the photo he took on the deck with Beachy Head in the background. Our main job was to secure her duty free stores, but walking around the stricken vessel which was making ominous creaking noises was a bit scary.' - Ron Ellis |
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