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Anecdotes & Memories from the Aberdeen Division |
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Aberdeen Division - Page contents: |
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Port of Aberdeen - Section contents: |
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The Stabbing of Kenny Sutherland CPO
'Some time around 1958 - 1961, Peter George Ross, a character well known for obtaining uncustomed goods in the port, was stopped in the harbour area by the port rummage crew. They found that he had been successful in his quest as goods were found on his person, so George Dalgarno APO took him back to Regent Quay. The POs must have been playing bridge or something like that, so the suspect was taken straight to Kenny Sutherland CPO. (Because of the many previous offences a CPO's option was required anyway so we will give our departed brothers the benefit of the doubt). During a short period when George left the room, Ross whipped out a fish filleting knife and stabbed Kenny in the face, narrowly missing his eye but inflicting slight damage to his face. The assailant was charged with assault and there was a court case and Ross ended his days in Perth Prison. What started as a minor offence ended up as a long stretch inside for the assailant' - Henry Thompson & David Bowie
In the Teeth of the Storm . . .
'We had a regular inter port football match against Leith and a match in 1970 was threatened with being called off due to heavy snow but in true Waterguard tradition we played on despite the heavily snow covered pitch.
Gus Cameron celebrated a Leith goal by jumping in the air, falling on his beam end on the snow and tobogganing down a bank on to the pitch. Unfortunately his teeth were jettisoned in the fall and despite the presence of several skilled rummagers could not be found in the snow. The onset of darkness may have had something to do with it but the opening of the bar for post match celebrations probably was the main factor in their lack of success.
A couple of days later the thaw struck and Aberdeen's finest were dispatched to the pitch where Gus's teeth were eventually secured and marked. With typical Waterguard inventiveness the teeth were reunited with their owner by being passed along the line of CPMs down the east coast of Scotland.' - David Bowie
In far off days, duty was taken to the nearest halfpenny but the PO I/C Macduff must have missed the OWO advising that it could be rounded down to the nearest penny as he inadvertently took a halfpenny which he could not remit to Collection HQ in Aberdeen. The coin rattled around the office cash box for years until an IGW inspection teams visit.
A Boards file was duly created and rebounded from the KBH to the 'Supers' office in Aberdeen and back until it reached someone who had enough 'gold braid' to make one of those famous 'executive decisions' . . . . . the halfpenny could be written out of the books and placed in the RNLI collecting box on the office counter.
Macduff being a single officer port, and being the British Civil Service! the Chief Clerk was dispatched the 40 miles to Macduff to witness this task ensuring that one of the Waterguard types did not mistake his pocket for the RNLI box! - Ah, the good old days!' - David Bowie
That's the Last Time You Get it for 'Bugger All'!
'I thought it was one of those fictional stories until I met the wife of the PO at a reunion. It may be a touch near the bone but The Waterguard and "the oldest profession" often met in the course of both our "duties".
Bill Coulson, an Aberdeen PO in early 1960's, and his wife were walking down Union Street in Aberdeen one Saturday afternoon when from the other side of the street a woman's voice bellowed out "Aye Aye Bill".
Bill looked across the street only to see one of the "ladies of the night" who plied her trade in the Docks from The Stanley Bar which was situated beside the Waterguard Office on Regent Quay. She was three sheets to the wind so Bill put his head down and carried on walking.
"Is that girl speaking to you?" enquired Bill's wife - "No" replied Bill.
"What's wrong Bill, nae speaking the day?" the girl cried.
"I'm sure she is speaking to you" said Mrs Coulson. "Never seen her before" replied 'our stranger to the truth'.
The traffic ground to a halt and people stopped talking as the girl screamed at the top of her voice "OK CUSTOMS - THAT'S THE LAST TIME YOU GET IT FOR BUGGER ALL!' - David Bowie
'The inhabitants of North and North West Scotland had to be industrious and adaptable to live in the beautiful yet sometimes inhospitable Highlands. The band of CPM's who patrolled the coast of the mainland and outer isles were no different and, as was common in these parts, had to have many strings to their bow to survive. Some were crofters others ex-servicemen, all supplementing their meagre incomes by working for the Crown.
I remember filing the weekly programmes sent to the CPO's office in Inverness from the wonderfully named RAF Ham based at Mallaig who would write . . . . "I will have a schemed rest day Monday . . . I have to go to the sheep sales at Fort William" and "I will do a 2-10 patrol to Strontian on Tuesday as I have to turn the sheep I buy out on the hill in the morning" and so on. The needs of Her Majesty would always have to be second to the needs of his sheep!
The equally exotically named AGA Poole based at Kyle of Lochalsh was a Londoner. He supplemented his income by picking up newspapers and shopping from Kyle and delivering them to various outposts on the Isle of Skye. In more modern times management would have pulled him up for improper use of the official vehicle but these were more enlightened times and the CPO was well aware this gave Mr Poole the ability to tap into the normally impenetrable Skye 'bush telegraph'. What his customers did not know was that he increased his earning power by meeting the early morning train ex Inverness and uplifting discarded newspapers, a quick run over with a warm iron and Bob's your uncle!
The CPO in Aberdeen used to relish getting reports from Drewie Leask based in Lerwick in the Shetland Isles. No prosaic "I was proceeding in a northerly direction" type reports on wreck found from Drewie, he was an author and well know landscape painter so in his reports "Spring gorse scented the air and the pebble crunched under his feet as he fought the buffeting wind 'til he rounded the headland. There bathed in the full moonlight with the tide lapping against them were fifteen standards of timber deck cargo".
As an APO with one month's seniority, I joined a scratch rummage crew on an RFA tanker in Invergordon. The CPM from Scrabster, a Mr Macdonald, joined us. He was an ex Inspector of the Palestine Police, a man with great presence and 40 years my senior, and I could not get used to him calling me, a callow youth, "sir". He told me that he required respect from the ranks in his previous job and now the tables were turned he had to give it back.
I raise a wee glass of our national product to them and their ilk!' - David Bowie
My first encounter with one in Aberdeen was when he was attached to my rummage crew. There were no interesting arrivals and the PO was engaged in some important office question . . . was it to be 2 no trump or 3 spades? . . . . . so we decided to have a shuftie at a deep sea trawler returning from 'North of 61'. So in true Waterguard tradition I began to give the 'sprog' an insight into port practices, however I was informed that he knew all about rummage as he had just returned from a two week course. I advised him that he should forget all that in the case of trawlers. If the trawlermen had any stuff it was on their person or in their kit bags as they hoped to get to the pub before the 'cussies' arrived. If they saw us coming they would ditch it so speed was of the essence. I would search the crew members on the whaleback whilst he should take the starboard route to the crew's quarters, rubbing down any guys he met, and the other APO would take the port side. We would then have a look round after the crew departed for ditched or hidden stuff.
I did the guys on the whaleback and descended to the deck to hear banging and crashing coming from the whaleback store. There was our new recruit screwdriver in teeth, torch and jemmy in hand, throwing empty fish boxes about. I reminded him of stated best practice in trawler rummage. His response was yet another portent that things were about to change . . . . . DON'T YOU F***N' TELL ME WHAT TO DO YOU ARE NOT MY F***N' BOSS! - David Bowie
There was a PO in Aberdeen, Jim Archer, who had a ploy to extract a further dram on boarding duties if the skipper showed reluctance to refill his glass for a second time. He would boldly ask for "one for the other leg " and if received he would drain his glass and then clutching himself he would give out exclamations of pain. A concerned skipper would enquire after Jim's well-being only to be informed by a gasping Jim that "Its gone down the same leg skipper!" It was surprising how many "medicinal" third drams Jim secured. - David Bowie
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'I was promoted Preventive Officer in 1970 but stayed in the London Division, being sent to Luton Airport for the summer. Whilst suffering holidaymakers day and night, I received a call from the Superintendent's Office asking if I could go to the Isle of Barra to cover the Round Britain Yacht Race. Apparently the IGW's Office had become aware that during the first Race in 1966 the yachts set sail from Plymouth for Crosshaven in Ireland - a foreign port - and then to Barra but could not clear Customs until the next stop, Stornaway, there being no officer on Barra. Being mindful of Whisky Galore it was decided that someone should show the flag on Barra!
By the rules of the game the next APO waiting to be made up should have gone but I think he was at Dover and had never been north of Watford in his life so someone in the IGW's Office, Vic Roberts, I suspect, who had been my CPO at West India Dock, remembered that I had got married in Stornaway a few months earlier, my wife Linda having been born there. It was assumed therefore that I knew the Hebrides! After much wrangling to ensure I went back to Luton rather than some backwater of the Empire, I was summoned to the Superintendent's Office and wished well.
On the way I picked up a Duty Slip Book and an R & R Book from the landing officer in Oban and set sail for Barra. Digs had been fixed up for me by the local PC. The landlady, having been on Barra all her life, greeted me every time I entered the house with a schooner of Scotch! So I had a week of bliss on the high rate.
What a life! The yachtsmen in those days were in the main enthusiastic participants rather than hard bitten professionals so there was quite a bit of imbibing. I hired a motor boat from a local lifeboatman and cleared most of the yachts out in the bay, although as night fell I did the clearance in the comer of the bar in the Castlebay Hotel which was the only place for them to go.' - Doug Fraser
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Select the buttons above to see PDF versions of the hired boat skipper's invoice - £2 for 4 days hire! - a letter of thanks from the Waterguard Superintendent, Aberdeen, Doug Fraser's Claim for reimbursement for the cost of the boat hire and a list of the race competitors associated with this anecdote
Arthur Winstanley . . . . . .
'I never met the man but I knew the legend. In the 1970's he turned up at Lerwick, asked why he had applied, he just said he wanted a change from Liverpool - objective achieved then! However the proximity of Lerwick to the North pole, and the fact that no trees grow there, should have been a clue as to what the local climate was like and he bumped his gum continually about the cold wet and wind. One day he finished his moan with "and you know, I phoned up and enquired what the weather was like and was told that folk were walkng round the harbour in their shirtsleeves."
"Ah" said a long suffering colleague "That would have been 8th July three years back!"' - David Bowie
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